Date: Sunday, October 28, 2018

Distance: 8.18 miles/13.16 km 

Listened to: Bristol 10 km playlist – in particular “Time Is Running Out” by Muse in dedication to my Dad and stupid dementia

The last two months have seen me try to achieve two Race Your Pace challenges: 50 miles in September and 75 miles in October. The former was hard enough for a slow runner like me but 75 mikes was just a little bit stupid! Luckily, we had booked a week’s holiday in Crete so I knew I could try to cram a fair bit in during our down time.

I had managed to get to 43 miles before we headed off to sunnier climes and trotted out 25 miles while we were away by running every day apart from our last. That left me with seven miles to go with five days left of the month.

Running every day is tough on your legs! I am not sure it is the way to go, but it was necessary for me to reach my target. I would not have got there otherwise. However, I did kill off my promenade demon in the process with two nice runs along the pavement that edged the beach of our resort.

The last seven miles was left to my usual 10 km loop with Cattery Hill right in the middle of it. I would love to say I steamed up Cattery, but alas, still not there yet! I did run all the way down it as a little treat to myself and I did add a mile onto my planned distance to clock up my furthest run to date.

This gave me my 75-miles (+ 1) and marked a year to the day that we flew back from Canada to travel straight to my Dad’s bedside when he was taken to hospital for the first time. Coupled with running and listening to “Time Is Running Out” by Muse, I allowed myself a little time to get angry about dementia.

In my experience, it starts with harmless forgetfulness that, while it is very frustrating for the sufferer, it does not dint their personalities. The only specialist nurses I saw said dementia takes a person’s life gradually at first, but also takes some hefty steps to speed up the process. Forgetting names and dates, how to get somewhere, how to drive a car, how to make a cup of coffee, how old you are, how to fill in a golf scorecard, etc. are fairly manageable. Then there are the big steps…incontinence, lack of interest in things they used to love, lack of conversation and lack of movement. These are truly heartbreaking and take away the person you used to know and love.

Dad’s condition was worsened by the sepsis episode that landed him in hospital and he became very weak. While he returned home after the first hospital stay a year ago, he had to go into a lovely nursing home after the second. My step-mother Sandra had done all she could; no-one could have loved him or cared for him more.

Dementia doesn’t just affect the person with it. It is devastating for those who love them. You watch them become a person they would never want to be. You often have to give up caring for them on a day to day basis. You can see them, talk to them and touch them, but you are never sure if they even know who you are. It all really sucks. Dementia is a very cruel disease.

However, elements of them do manage to beat the dementia. Brief moments of clarity, smiles, manners and certain mannerisms for my Dad…and kissing. Dad loved a kiss. His body may have been shutting down in his last week with us, but the day before he died, he still puckered up his lips to kiss both myself and Sandra. Muscle memory won the war over dementia on that score! At Dad’s funeral, I urged everyone to kiss more so if you read this, I urge you to do the same. Kisses are precious and meaningful. Treasure them.

With my 75-mile challenge done and my medal safely around the neck of a teddy bear my Dad gave me, I wonder: “What now?” I am not going to do the 100-mile challenge. My legs need a rest, so I am going to go back to a few things I used to do before running took over my life, like body pump and Pilates, and try a few new things too…starting with spinning. I won’t stop running but would like to do less runs with hopefully stronger legs and try for longer distances. We’ll see how that goes.

I have been running for 10 months now since signing up for the Bristol 10 km. That was my milestone, but since then, I have run another 10 km event (no medal – boo!) and a further seven 10 km runs as part of my training or challenges. I have run 431 km so far this year and I have run with my super fit husband and with some good friends too. I have also worked out that I prefer to run alone and that I do enjoy it at times. I have smiled at people I have seen along the way, eaten blackberries as a quick on-the-go snack, appreciated the beautiful environment I live in, picked up litter, seen hawks and deer, enjoyed the views, loved the downhills, enjoyed by enhanced step count and the freedom of knowing my body can move and take me a certain distance. I have even been know to get tetchy when I have missed a run opportunity. What is going on?

I still don’t think of myself as a real runner as Cattery Hill still remains a stiff challenge and I have not nailed a sub-hour 10 km but I have done a fair collective distance to honour my dear Dad and to take a positive out of a frankly very sad situation.

Meanwhile, my amazing friends still continue to blow my mind with their running efforts. Another casual marathon for Rachel at the weekend, Kate is heading off to the New York marathon in a few days and Emma will take part in the 2018 London Marathon to raise money for the Alzheimer’s Society and Alzheimer’s Research UK. Amazing…all three of you. You inspire me.

#runningfordad #dementiasucks #kissmore